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👨👩👧 All ages · Parents
12 Conversation Prompts
Conversation Starters
Talking to Your Child About Social Media
12 age-differentiated prompts — four for children (6–12), four for teenagers, and four for whole-family use. Each includes a follow-up question and a note on what not to say.
NSPCC
Internet Matters UK
Childnet
How to use these prompts: Don't read them out loud from a list. Use them to inspire a natural conversation during a shared activity — cooking, driving, walking, playing a game. The best conversations about online safety happen when children don't realise that's what the conversation is about.
The four principles behind every effective conversation
The right question matters less than the right approach. These principles apply to every prompt on this sheet.
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Curiosity over interrogation
Approach every question as genuinely wanting to understand their world — not checking whether they're doing something wrong. Children can always tell the difference.
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Neutral first response
Whatever they say first — even if it surprises you — respond with "That's interesting, tell me more" before anything else. Judgment closes the conversation immediately.
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Side-by-side, not face-to-face
Conversations in the car, on a walk, or during an activity are less confrontational than a sit-down. The lack of direct eye contact makes it easier for children to be honest.
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One conversation at a time
You don't need to cover everything in one sitting. A short, unfinished conversation that you return to tomorrow is more valuable than an hour-long lecture that ends in silence.
When these conversations work best
✅ Good moments to try these
In the car on the way to school or an activity
During a shared meal — ideally when devices are away
On a walk or during a non-competitive game
After they've mentioned something about their online life voluntarily
When they're in a good mood and relaxed — not tired or stressed
⚠ Moments to avoid
Immediately after a device argument or screen-time dispute
While they're in the middle of using a device
At bedtime when they're tired and defences are down
As a formal sit-down — it signals trouble before you've started
When you're stressed, rushed, or distracted
01
"What's the most fun thing you've watched online recently? Show me."
Why it works
Asking to see it — not just hear about it — shows genuine interest. You also see exactly what they're watching without it feeling like monitoring.
Natural follow-up
"Do you know who made this? What else have they made?" — builds critical thinking about content creators.
⚠ What not to say
"You shouldn't be watching that" — unless there's a genuine safety concern. Dismissing their interests ends the conversation.
02
"If someone was mean to you online, what do you think you'd do?"
Why it works
Hypothetical framing removes the pressure of having to admit something happened. It also surfaces their current coping strategies so you know where to build on.
Natural follow-up
"Has anything like that ever happened to anyone you know?" — opens the door to real experiences without asking directly.
⚠ What not to say
"Just ignore it and come to me" — this sounds simple but dismisses the emotional complexity. Ask what THEY would do before telling them what to do.
03
"What kind of stuff would you never put online, and why?"
Why it works
Asking what THEY'D never share (rather than telling them) reveals what they already understand about privacy and gives you a natural way to build on it.
Natural follow-up
"Good thinking — why do you think that matters?" — reinforces their reasoning and builds self-ownership of the principle.
⚠ What not to say
"You should never put anything online" — this is unrealistic and they know it. Focus on specifics, not absolutes.
04
"Who do you trust most if something ever went wrong on the internet?"
Why it works
Identifies who they'd actually turn to — which may or may not be you. The answer tells you a lot about how safe they feel coming to you, without you having to ask that directly.
Natural follow-up
"That's a good person to have. I want you to know you can always come to me too — I won't overreact, I promise."
⚠ What not to say
"It should be me" — this creates pressure and guilt. Accept whoever they name positively, then add yourself to the list.
05
"Do you think social media makes most people feel better or worse about themselves?"
Why it works
Asks about "most people" rather than them — removes personal defensiveness. Their answer almost always contains something about their own experience.
Natural follow-up
"Does that match how you feel when you use it?" — gently brings it back to them once they're already in the conversation.
⚠ What not to say
"Social media is terrible for mental health" — states your conclusion before you've heard theirs. They'll close down immediately.
06
"Has anything online ever made you feel pressured to do or say something you didn't want to?"
Why it works
Opens up peer pressure, group chats, challenges, and FOMO in a non-threatening way. "Pressured" is a word teenagers connect with — it doesn't imply they did something wrong.
Natural follow-up
"What did you do?" or "What would you do if that happened?" — keeps the focus on their agency, not your concern.
⚠ What not to say
"I knew this would happen" or any variation of "I told you so" — it confirms their fear that coming to you means being told off.
07
"What would you change about social media if you could — for everyone, not just yourself?"
Why it works
Treats them as a thoughtful person with valid opinions. Their answer will tell you exactly what's bothering them online — often more honestly than a direct question would.
Natural follow-up
"That's a really good point — has that affected you or people you know?" — validates and then personalises.
⚠ What not to say
Turning it into a debate about whether social media is good or bad. Listen to their answer without arguing your position.
08
"If I searched your name online right now, what do you think would come up?"
Why it works
A practical, non-threatening digital footprint conversation. Makes them think about their online presence from the outside in — without you having to lecture about it.
Natural follow-up
"Want to try it together?" — makes it a shared activity rather than a surveillance exercise.
⚠ What not to say
"I've already searched for you" — if you have, this destroys trust immediately. If you haven't, don't imply you have.
09
"What's the best thing that's happened to someone in our family because of the internet this week?"
Why it works
Starts the conversation positively — technology is not the enemy, and family conversations should reflect that balance. Parents should answer this too.
Natural follow-up
"And what's been the most annoying thing about technology this week?" — introduces a critical perspective after the positive one.
⚠ What not to say
Don't pivot immediately to safety concerns. Let the positive answer breathe — it builds the environment where the harder conversations can happen.
10
"What's one rule about screens in our house that you think is unfair — and what would you replace it with?"
Why it works
Invites critique of household rules — which builds buy-in when rules stay and trust when they change. It also gives parents honest feedback about what's actually working.
Natural follow-up
"That's interesting — why do you think that rule exists?" — encourages them to understand the reasoning, not just argue against the outcome.
⚠ What not to say
"That rule exists for a reason and it's staying" before you've heard them out. Even if the rule stays, the listening matters.
11
"If our whole family had to do one digital-free thing together every week, what would you pick?"
Why it works
Reframes screen-free time as a positive family choice rather than a punishment or restriction. Their answer also tells you what they actually want to do with you.
Natural follow-up
"Let's actually do that — which day should we try it?" — turning the conversation into a plan makes it real and shows you were listening.
⚠ What not to say
Don't ask this and then never follow through. If you suggest turning it into a plan, actually do it — even once — or the conversation loses credibility.
12
"What do you think I worry about most when it comes to you being online — and do you think I'm right to worry?"
Why it works
Invites them to name your fears before you do — which is disarming and often more accurate than you'd expect. The second half gives them agency to push back, which they'll value.
Natural follow-up
"Fair enough. What do YOU think I should actually be worrying about that I'm probably not?" — this is often the most revealing question of all.
⚠ What not to say
Don't list your worries before asking. Let them answer first — even if they're wrong about what you worry about, their answer tells you a great deal.
Want scripts for the harder conversations?
Our age-specific guides go beyond conversation starters — with step-by-step scripts for difficult topics, boundary frameworks, and a complete plan for building ongoing trust around technology at home.
Browse the guides →